“Take Me Away”

Take Me Away

There’s something about doing these kind of photos, not having a clue of how they’re  going to turn out that is rewarding and adventurous. I went to shoot this picture yesterday, but to my surprise, it was darker than I thought. I don’t trust so much in my camera, and I thought the photo wasn’t going to work. I left feeling disappointed but at the same time happy because I tried and I knew that if it failed if was going to be because of the poor lighting. But I decided to try and fix it the best that I possibly could and the attitude definitely helped me. At first I didn’t like the pose, nothing was how I expected, so as always, I over edited it. I looked at it and told myself to leave it simple. And for the first time, I closed the one that I already edited and started again. And I felt happy with the result. This is the before and after. I hope you like it.

_DSC0014

_DSC0022

Take Me Away

Thank you,

Minnie.

5 Reasons To Not Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough.

1goodenough

 

1goodenoughA minute ago, I was writing a post about how I didn’t feel good enough. About how there’s a line after “good” that I never get to cross. I’m always average. About how much inspiration I had, and how much motivation I was lacking. But after 300+ words, I thought that I decide what content I put out there for the world, what part of me I want you to see. And definitely, the negative one is not it.

So, instead of me rambling about how I want to write, take photos, and make videos but finding an excuse not to, I decided to help all of us who are feeling this way with reasons why we shouldn’t feel like we’re not good enough.

Whether you are an artist and you think that your creativity is not reaching the level you want, or just someone who doesn’t feel good enough as a person, I hope these things that I found can help you in some way.

 

1. The people you compare yourself to, compare themselves to others too.

As much as everyone have said this a million times, it’s never enough. And as much as you know how bad is to compare yourself to others, it’s never enough to make you stop, because we are humans, and our little minds are just like that. Just know that those people that we think are so much better than us, feel the same way we do.

2. There is more right with you than wrong with you.

Instead of focusing on the things that you’re not good at, focus on the ones that you are. A few months ago, I went to a psychologist because I thought I had social anxiety, and I was telling him how I was so afraid of people and wasn’t able to make friends. And he told me that maybe I was focusing in how I can’t, instead of focusing in how I could make the ones that I do have. (wow, I swear in my head that made a lot more sense.)strive-for-progress-not-perfection

3. Focus on progress rather than perfection.

When we strive for “perfection” we forget to see how far we’ve come since the beginning. For some people becoming better, takes one try, but maybe for you it takes 5. It doesn’t matter, celebrate every progress you make. Strive for more, but be happy and grateful with what you accomplish now.

4. Likes and comments are not that important.

As much as they seem like they indicate how good or not is what you do, they don’t. I know it’s hard to not see it that way, and I include myself, but as long as you love what you do and are truly passionate about it, everything’s okay. If you love it, it will show. If someone else loves it, others will too. It’s good to be recognized for your passion, but it’s better to be able to recognize how happy that passion makes you feel regardless of how many likes and comments you have.

5. Don’t stop trying.

When you want to achieve something, and see how fast others do it, while you think you’re not making any progress at all, do you stop? I can tell you myself that sometimes I’ve stopped. And that is going to be your biggest mistake. No matter how far it seems, if you’re consistent, you can do it. If you stop half way, chances are that you probably are not going to be good enough. Find a motivation and don’t stop.

Almost all of the things that we worry about, are completely relative. So even if you think you’re the worst, someone else will think the opposite. Just make sure that you can see yourself that way too. Everything it’ll be easier.

You are good enough. We all are.

You are special

Thank you,

Minnie.

 

 

Nutella Frappe Recipe.

Chocolate_Milkshake

Chocolate_Milkshake

As simple as this is, I thought it would be nice to share with you one of my favorite things in the whole world. Where I live, this is huge, there are thousands of small and business that sell it, so it took me by surprise that the last time I went to the U.S it wasn’t as popular as it is here. The delicious nutella frappe. I’m not sure if it’s a frappe or milkshake(those terms confuse me), because where I live there are no such things as milkshakes or smoothies. Basically, everything that is blended with ice, we just call it frappe. So, my apologies if it’s not called like that.

Months ago, when I goggled the recipe to do it, they all said to add a lot of milk, a little bit of vanilla extract, not that much of ice and of course, nutella. I was doing it like this, but it always ended up like “yoo-hoo”. I got frustrated because it wasn’t like the ones I’ve had before. I kept wondering and wondering what was the secret. Well, there was no such thing as secret, my brother told me how he thought it was, and we tried it and HOLY AGUACATE, was it delicious.. It’s not a secret or special ingredient, it’s simplicity.

First, fill the blender with ice almost to the top, like this:

hielo

Then, add just a little bit of milk. Or you can even add water, it’s just to make the blending process more smooth.

hielo leche

And the final thing, 4 spoons of yummy nutella.

nutella

making

 

And now, just press the “ice crush” button and stop when it looks something like this.

frappe

 

When it’s done, you can add whatever you like such as whipped cream, cinnamon and cherry. Now, just enjoy it.

 

Chocolate_Milkshake

 

 

 

Sometimes in life we focus in searching for that special thing that you think you’re lacking when the simplicity that you already have makes you more special that any other thing that you can possibly find. More of that “less” is often more.

Thank you,

Minnie.

Graduation day; The Day I Never Had !

????????????????????????????????????????

Graduation day; the day where a big chapter ends and another bigger one starts. That special day where you celebrate all of your efforts throughout 12 very important years of your life. The day where your family come to hug you telling you how proud they are. The day where you and your friends promise each other to remain friends and to never forget the adventures you had. The day where you and some high school crush make a pact that if you find each other in ten years and you’re both single, you will get married ( well, maybe that only happens in movies). The grand finale of a long season. Graduation day; the one day I didn’t have.

High school wasn’t that crazy amazing adventure like a movie for me. I was that isolated girl with that one friend that some people thought was my boyfriend because they didn’t know he was gay. That shy girl who didn’t like to have any kind of attentiothumbn but stood out because of her bright fuchsia hair.

 

Even though I had some “friends”, my only friend was my best friend. If that makes any sense. I call them “friends” because they were only fellow classmates, and as much as some of us talked and shared some pretty things, I never had the connection I had with my best friend. We were more friends with teachers and school staff than with our classmates. And in that moment, we loved being that way. I was never very fond of people my age. We didn’t have anything in common and our interests were way too different. They were into talking about boys and gossiping about each other while my best friend and I were into long deep conversations that used to end in nothing but a bigger question mark. He and I were the kind of student that made such a big deal about an oral presentation. We would always have the biggest laugh attacks while everyone else in the classroom were dead serious. I remember once, we were late to our first class and when we were entering the classroom, OUT OF NOWHERE, we started laughing uncontrollably. And once we started, there was no way of stopping. And the teacher(that didn’t like us that much) kept yelling at us asking us why were we laughing, but of course, we couldn’t answer. Our laugh attacks made us get kicked out of classrooms several times and fail some oral presentations. It also made us win us a trip to the office.

Detentiontumblr_inline_n8hskk497n1rzkqm3

 

 

 

 

 

 

But as much as we laughed and laughed more than anyone in school and had some of our best moments of our life, school was boring. And tedious. We couldn’t stand the way teachers evaluate the students. The things they were giving us. The way our system education was. Very very poor. So because we were always kind of the rebel ones, we decided to take our senior year in 4 days. YES. ONLY 4 DAYS. How could I refuse that? It was cheap, it was right after finishing junior year, it was easy, fast, so why not? We did that with 3 other friends of our school. Even though they were from 8:00am to 5:30pm, we had fun and actually learned some useful things there. Until this day, we haven’t regretted that decision. And at that moment we didn’t care about graduation but now, I sort of do.

The only graduation I attended was the one from 6th grade. It was a big deal because I was graduating with 4.0 gpa, vice-president and my brother was also graduating from 9th grade from the same school. I don’t remember much about it, but I guess it was..you know..boring like every graduation is..but fun? I don’t know.

In 9th grade, I attended my graduation BUT as my friend’s guest. I just asked him if I didn’t participate because of a particular reason but, apparently I just wasn’t interested. It doesn’t surprise me though. I never was interested in anything “school and having to spend time with people” related. But I went to..I don’t know why I went, maybe to support him? To celebrate my efforts without the part of me getting uncomfortably dressed and having to smile in front of everybody accepting my medals? I think that was why.

And the last one, the most important one, the high school graduation. 12 years.

truth-about-high-school-graduation

tumblr_maeo5nnpQ41r25xgk

Yesterday, I was watching the season finale of Switched at Birth and for some reason it made me so emotional. Tears falling down kind of emotional. And it made me want to have a graduation myself. I feel like I needed that in some way. Having that closure. Getting ready for the new life of new responsibilities and problems that aren’t as easy as math. In math, there was always a right answer to get to, in life you don’t know. It’s constantly a trial and error thing that you never quite solve. Not that it’s not exciting though.

As boring and long as they are, I want to have a graduation. I want to throw my cap in the air along with my past self.

Smiley-Throwing-Graduation-Cap-83982

I told myself yesterday, that when I become successful, and I’m happy and grateful for everything I have, when I feel that the part of me that needed to grow up did, I want to have a graduation. I want to do it with my best friend where each of us recite speeches of whatever we want to say. With a proper gown and hat. We will be graduating from life.

I don’t know if I should do that when I’m older and I have overcomes a lot of fears or if I should do it now before I move, to officially let go of this time of my life where I do nothing. What do you think?

I also didn’t go to my college graduation because I didn’t pay my debt so, I really want to have one. And regardless of when it is, i want to record it and show it to you.

Congratulations to everyone that graduated, and to those who haven’t, if you think you don’t want to go, you don’t have to, but at least do something in representation of it, something where you can officially end that part of your life. You may need it.

Thank you,

Minnie.

 

 

“Endless Melody”| My Suitcase Will Have To Go

Endless Melody
When I came back of my trip to Ohio on April, I left my suitcase in my bedroom because I thought I would be moving there soon. That “soon” was at first June, then it turned into August and now it’s..unknown.
 
 In one of my recent posts I told you that I bought the ticket for the 27th and that I was going crazy because I was scared. I also told you that I had a big discussion with my sister because I bought it without telling her and she told me that she had to talk with her mother (the person I was going to stay with) first.
 
Well, she talked with her, and so did my father. And apparently she didn’t like what I did because she thought I was going to go with my sister, so of course it was going to be easier for her because my sister would take care of me those first days. But because my sister can’t go, she said that she couldn’t take care of me alone because she was always busy. My father was going to talk with my brother(who lives there too) to ask him if he could help me those first days to establish myself. But then my sister’s mother texted my dad telling him to cancel the flight, and that even though we were looking for other options, she wasn’t comfortable with the decision. She told him to stick with the original plan of going with my sister.
 
You can imagine how I felt of course. Besides devastated, I felt uncomfortable. If I had known that I couldn’t go alone I wouldn’t have bought the ticket and make my dad lose all that money. I only did it because my sister told me several times that I could go alone. But her mother told us that she said it sarcastically. Believe me, I’m very familiar with sarcasm and she didn’t say it “sarcastically”.
 
Now, I basically have to wait to October or November until my sister( who i haven’t talked to since the fight we had) can go. I have to depend on her again.
 
I seriously wish there were other options for me to move because now I feel like I’m going to bother my sister’s mother. I wish I could go now in August and not have to wait until god know when.
I’m surprisingly taking it better than I expected, but I’m still sad about it because I don’t know what’s going to happen and I certainly don’t know what I will do in my house these months. But I have faith that something better will come up. The last thing I need to lose now is my positivity.
 
But..can someone please adopt me?
 
 
adopt_me_please_by_jizamarri-d5hyynz
 
I took all the anger and dissapointment that I had and put it into a photo, and I couldn’t have a better therapy than that. This is the photo I did yesterday, enjoy it.
 
Endless Melody

Endless Melodybandafte
Before and after..or oops, should I say after and before?

Thank you,

Minnie.

What We Really Look Like: Mirror Reflection Vs. Camera

tumblr_my7es8G4Zk1qf4z4ho1_500

The last thing that I want you to think of me is that I’m self-obsessed, but that’s not why i’m doing this. I think everyone has experienced that extreme disappointment when you look at a photo of yourself after seeing your reflection in the mirror which looked absolutely fine.

Have you?
Have you looked yourself in the mirror and sang “I feel pretty, oh so pretty and witty and bright..”? You think everything looks fine, your eyes, your skin, your hair, your outfit, everything. And then you take a picture of yourself and look like this:

ugly-funny-looking-animals-1-1
He’s a little cute though!

YEAH. EXACTLY.

This situation is very similar to what our voice really sounds like. But more frustrating, in my opinion. It’s not the same thing wondering how we sound to what we look like. I rather not know what I sound like than not know what I look like. Like, don’t lie to me mirror or camera. Just show me the real me.

And let’s not even start with how you look different in each mirror. I don’t know about you but there are certain mirrors in my house that don’t help either. But I realized that it wasn’t the mirrors, it was the different lighting in each one of the rooms that they are in. And the same happens in photographs, the lighting plays a huge role on how we look like.

I did some research to why the difference of our mirror reflection and the photographs and this is what I found.

“We investigated the effect of familiarity on people’s perception of facial likeness by asking participants to choose which of two mirror-symmetric chimeric images (made from the left or right half of a photograph of a face) looked more like an original image. In separate trials the participants made this judgment for their own face and for the face of a close friend; half of them matched to a true image of the original and half matched to a mirror image of the original. In the case of matching to a friend’s face presented in the familiar orientation, over 80% of participants chose the left-left composite to be a better likeness to the original, whereas only 62% showed the same left-side bias when matching to a mirror image. The difference is significant, and the result contrasts markedly with a second experiment where participants who were unfamiliar with the faces showed comparable left-side biases when matching to true or mirror reversed images. The result suggests that perceptual asymmetries are retained in our long-term memory for highly familiar faces. While matching to images of self also showed an effect of familiarity, the data in this condition show less evidence of perceptual asymmetry and are discussed in relation to recent research on the representation of one’s own face.”

And I also read, that it’s the camera, it’s the mirror and it’s you.

The camera adds ten pounds, the mirror flips your image and you, well you are your worst own critic and most of it it’s just in your head.

 No matter how much I read I never was fully convinced. But I guess there are more important things to worry about ourselves, like for instance, how people see me? How am I projecting myself? Am I being the person I want to be?

1b573df1174a989a3683624760df8348how_to_be_confident

 

Those are the questions you have to ask yourself. And be confident, that will show no matter how the lighting is, no matter what lenses you’re using and certainly no matter what you look like.

What reflection you like the most about yourself and why?

Thank you,

Minnie.

 

Going Crazy

Guys, I haven’t write this kind of post in a long time because I told myself not to, but I feel like it’s necessary for me. Even if you’re not interested, I want to because I need to talk to someone.

If you have followed me for a while and read my posts, then you know that:

- I don’t speak English very well, in fact, I’ve never spoken English in person with anyone, never. And the idea of it terrifies me.

- I live in Puerto Rico.

- My biggest wish was to move to the U.S( or to England, but for now that’s going to have to wait)

- That wish is now a reality.

Okay, now that you know what you need to know, let me start. I was going to move in June but the person who I’m going to be staying with (my sister’s mom) told me to wait until August so that the attic could be ready and I could stay there. And because my sister always go there for Labor day, I decided to wait and go with her.

I was happy that I wouldn’t have to travel alone because that day was going to be stressful enough for me to have to deal with everything on my own.

But to my surprise (not really) my sister can’t go. As always. There is always a problem with her. The first time she told me that maybe she couldn’t go I freaked out. The second time it was like “whatever” but deep inside I was scared. But when she finally confirmed me that she couldn’t go, I was ready. I was mad, but I didn’t want to depend on her anymore.

Yesterday, I bought the ticket for the 27th. And because I didn’t tell her before I bought it, she was mad and came to my house and we basically yelled at each other like never before. I always try to be respectful towards her, I never tell her when something about her bothers me, but yesterday I let it all out. I’m not going to go into details of what happened because this post would be too long.

The thing is that I’m mad. And I’m freaking out. It was going to be so much easier going with her because I was going to be more comfortable and…..

But I think I’m starting to have little panic attacks now that I finally have a date. It’s getting closer and closer and I still don’t overcome my fear of speaking English. how will I get a job?

I’m not very close to my sister’s mom, and I’m scared I will be uncomfortable in her house.

My parents. My family. My comfort zone. I have to risk all of that.

I swear that if it wasn’t so important for me to leave, I would have changed my mind already. But I have to do it. I have to be brave. But I don’t know if I can deal with that much.

Even though my oldest brother, and niece are there, I wish I could just go to a better place with a strange family or with someone I’m REALLY comfortable with.

I’m being so ungrateful right now. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening to me.

And I don’t know why because this is what I wanted. I wanted to leave. I wanted a change.

I want to be completely independent already. Speak english without any fear and live comfortably in California or England. And I don’t know if that’s going to happen. I don’t know how.

I don’t like feeling like this.. Negative.

But I’m going crazy. I just want to cry on someone’s shoulder all day.

I don’t know what I’m doing.