“Let Me In”

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The “Omg, I’m so excited..I can’t wait…it’s going to be sooo great!!!!” feeling you have when you’re expecting something, but then when you see it, you realize that is sooo not great. *sighs* That’s basically the perfect description of my week.

I’m going to talk about an awful experience in another post, but my grand finale of my Halloween series hasn’t been an exception to this feeling. I almost didn’t do it. This week has been very stressful, I’ve been a little sad and I haven’t been physically well either.

I always do my photos on Wednesdays when the sun is going down, but yesterday I was feeling awful, just as I did the past Wednesday too. So I decided to get up very early today and do it because I really didn’t want to miss this week as I was very excited for this photo. I’ve never shot at that hour, I didn’t like it..instead of waiting for the sunset, I was waiting for the sunrise. The grass was wet…anyway..I wasn’t feeling it. And the same thing happened while I was editing it, not feeling it at all. I’m not happy with it and it’s such a bummer because this is the finale.

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But I’m not going to stress myself for that, there are so many photos to come and so much time to improve. If there’s something I know is that I’m always going to make photos I will love and others that…mmm not so much. But it’s okay.

Happy Halloween!

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Isn’t It Sad?

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Isn’t it sad how you see people that used to be friends with you and now you don’t even look at each other? Isn’t it sad how things are not at all how you expected them to be? Isn’t it sad how you feel like you bother people sometimes? Isn’t it sad how we have to let some things go? Isn’t it sad how we have to make our lives and break free from our parents? Isn’t it sad how many people we love we lose? Isn’t it sad saying goodbye? Isn’t it sad how that special song means nothing to you now? Isn’t it sad how we have to die without making reality some of our dreams? Isn’t it sad how some people die without having dreams? Isn’t it sad how our pets die? Isn’t it sad how we die? Isn’t it sad how we forget some of our most precious memories? Isn’t it sad how we stop feeling emotions? Isn’t it sad how we’re not as innocent as we were when we were kids? Isn’t it sad how you never received that call? Isn’t it sad how you weren’t there for that moment? Isn’t it sad how that person wasn’t there for that special moment? Isn’t it sad how you got tired of the movie you’ve watched a hundred times? Isn’t it sad how you have to let your children go? Isn’t it sad how the best of friendships fall apart? Isn’t it sad how a single second can define your entire life? Isn’t it sad how things end?

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Be Open.

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Yesterday, I wasn’t feeling that well..and also a little uninspired. As always, every Wednesday, I do a photo to post it on Thursday. And this week I was supposed to do the third of my Halloween series, which I didn’t have planned because I thought that October had only four Thursdays and I started doing the photos the second week.

I knew the story that I wanted to tell with it but honestly I wasn’t feeling well enough to do a uncomfortable pose for levitation and all that stuff. And I’ve decided that if I’m not feeling like it, I’m not going to pressure myself.

So, instead of a photo, I did another simple illustration. This is not my thing at all, but I really like them and I want to learn and improve.

It’s about being open..open to new things, tobe open new changes and new opportunities. Sometimes we don’t let ourselves see beyond what we think there is, and that deprive us from a lot of amazing possibilities. Let’s get rid of our blindness and not be afraid to see what’s really in front of us. It could seem scary but perhaps it’s your next most valuable experience.

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Second Vlog | The Pain Of Wearing High Heels

Hey guys! Today I’ve decided to get out of my comfort zone again and film another video for you. I don’t know why I keep doing this but..oh well.

Recently I bought a pair of high heels and the practicing has been a huge pain, so I made a video about it.

I hope I don’t feel as bad as I did the last time I uploaded a video…I only filmed this video once..so that’s an advance right?

Let me know what you think.

thank you, minnie

A Bloggy Confession!!

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For some of you, this may come as nothing. But for me, is dreadful to keep this secret and live with the guilt. Just so you know, I’m being dramatic here. It’s just a tiny little thing I did a WHILE ago where I LIED. It hurt absolutely nobody. Well, in a way, it hurt me, because I’m a very honest person and making up that lie made me feel pathetic about me and my life.

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I guess I just did it to make myself feel better. To make myself believe that that was my real life. I did it to escape.

At that moment, I think the dream of moving to the U.S was just hanging in the air, I didn’t know what was going to happen with me. My dream was to get represented by a gallery there and be able to move.

So, I started a blog. No, not this one. Gosh NO! I couldn’t have lived with that. I started another one while I had this one.

I named my blog after something that I wanted to name my book if I ever did one. I wanted to see what could happen with it if I just made up an entire fantasy life. Exciting, adventurous, living all my dreams. A movie kind of life.

And I wrote my first post, it was very short. For a first post, 13 likes and 12 Screen Shot 2014-10-17 at 3.39.11 PMfollowers wasn’t bad at all, although from what I’ve seen, first posts almost always get more likes. I wrote that I was moving to the U.S because a gallery was very interested in my work. I felt bad. Instantly. As much as a part of me wanted to keep going with the fake life, I couldn’t. But now that I think about it, it wouldn’t have been so bad if I had stated that it was a fake blog. It could have been like a book but in a blog. I actually like that idea. Hmm…

I know that this is silly but it made me feel bad at that moment. Specially when people commented “Welcome” and “Good luck”…I felt like I was mocking them. But that book blog thingy seems interesting, but now I know that if I ever do that I’m going to say it just so I don’t feel like I’m lying.

Have you done something that you feel guilty about?..In terms of blogging.

Halloween Series: “Dead”

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Wow, I can not believe how distracted I was that I thought October had only 4 Thursdays. I started my Halloween photo series the second week of this month thinking that I had to do only 3. But yesterday I realized I was wrong. I had my three ideas sketched and now I have to come up with another one. But I think it was for the better because now the little series is kind of a story. Which I’ll complete the last Thursday. I really don’t know what days I’m living. Not being in college or working is really making me…I don’t know. I can’t wait for december to come so I can move out of here and do something.

Anyways, this is my second photo of the series. I usually have to go to an empty space down my street, so I have to go with someone because it’s a little awkward to do it alone specially when the neighbors are outside their house watching me sit or stand in a suitcase. That must have been preeeetty normal for them. But yesterday, I did it in my house alone because the photo was very simple. I just had to add a sky and tadaa. I’m quite happy because now I know that if it’s simple, I can do it in my house and not have to beg anyone to go with me.

In the last photo, my character was being haunted, and now..well…she’s dead..poor girl! I guess her demons got the best out of her and killed her..or *insert spooky background music here* made her kill herself.

I’m having a lot of fun doing these photos, I hope you enjoy them!

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thank you, minnie

My Birthday And Videos!

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*sighs* It feels so good to write a safe post again. Not having to worry about exposing yourself. Like some of you may remember(which I hope you don’t) last Thursday, I uploaded a video for my “About Me” page. It was also my birthday, and because making a video in English and showing you my face was scary for me, it made my birthday a little bit different.

But I have to admit, that out of all the birthdays I remember, this was the simplest but one of the greatest. Still can’t beat the one where we played this game that you’re supposed to answer questions and if you don’t get them right the other person breaks a water ballon on your head. We ended up soaking wet! And my brother’s friend kept throwing balloons at me and my mother sprayed him with the hose. Oh gosh, that was so fun!!

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But this birthday, I woke up feeling very happy. I was alone, as always, but my best friend came to my house and brought me a piece of cake and chocolates and we kept talking and talking. The night before, I told him about the video that I did, and he asked me to show it to him. I was hesitating whether to show it to him or not because I was speaking English. But I said to him, “well..if I let you watch it, you have to film a video with me” and he agreed. So on my birthday, I was telling him about my ideas and he was interested. We proceeded to film it and holy guacaa..it was supposed to be just a practice, we did the “Most Likely To” tag, but we spent like 5 minutes trying to simply say “Hola”.

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Here we are..laughing about absolutely nothing.

When we’re together, we can’t stop laughing and we’re so childish…I don’t know why, but at least we have fun. When we were watching it, we were cringing so much, although I was already used to it considering how many times I had to film and watch my first video.

I think that for being our first video, it went…well! I mean, it’s hard to talk naturally to a camera but you get used to it. We don’t know if we’re ever going to make that video public but we sure are going to film more and start our channel. I wish our language was English so you guys could watch them..but…oh well.

The laughing and spending my whole day with my best friend was a very good way to celebrate my 19th year. My mother and sister brought me a little cake and sort of sang me “Happy Birthday”. I saw my father later that night, and then I watched New Girl. I was feeling happy that day and the thoughts that usually always torment me on my birthday, didn’t this time. The fact that I only have one friend congratulating me, the fact that I never do anything exciting, the fact that I can’t have the camera that I want were not important at all. I loved the simplicity of that day. I realized that being able to be with your loved ones is truly the greatest present you could have.

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The uploading my video thing made me a little anxious. My friend kept encouraging me because I was afraid of the “publish” button. I felt like I crossed a line. Every time I thought about it I was like… arghhh. It still happens. But your lovely comments made me feel so much better. So thank you everyone for that.

thank you, minnie