“Blue Neighborhood”

Blue Neighbourhood

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“Blue Neighborhood”

‘Everything you’re running away from is in your head’

Blue Neighbourhood.jpg

This will probably be my last photo before leaving for BMT. I’m feeling every possible emotion that one could ever feel. But I’m positive that facing all my fears and hopefully overcoming them will give me a new perspective on things, which can help me creatively. I’m really looking forward to see what the Air Force brings for me.

 

I’m so glad I was able to finish this series, my first ever series. It’s not exactly like I imagined it, but it’s something. Something really personal. I leave in two weeks, yes, I’m nervous, I feel like I’m dying. But it’ll be fine.

I’ll try to talk to you before I leave, hope you’re all doing fine.

“Someone Else’s House”

Someone Else's House

This is so funny guys, I can’t say anything about this photo, and that’s exactly what this photo is about. I guess it’s too personal the feeling that this one represents that I just can’t. I don’t know why.

Someone Else's House.jpgI already finished this series, I’ll post the last one next week. I’m really happy that I got to finish it as it’s really important to me.

I’ll talk to you soon.

 

“The Overthinker”

The Overthinker

My previous photo “Please Don’t Bite” is the first one of my new series called “Anxiety”. This is the second one, representing how we miss the bigger picture when we try to over analyze every single detail of every single thing. Sometimes the most enjoyable things are the little ones, the ones we ignore trying to find the meaning of the ones that don’t have any.

The Overthinker.jpg

I don’t remember if I told you, but I leave for the Air Force on February 23. I just hope to be able to finish this series before I leave, I think it’s a great way for me to express my anxiety. I’ll talk to you soon.

I miss me

Dear friends,

I won’t apologize again to you for my lack of posts, and for disappearing again, because let’s be honest, I can’t start every post the same way.

It hurts to say this, but I’ve failed myself. I completely lost what I wanted to keep the most. A few minutes ago I was reading some of my old posts, and I found a little paragraph that I wrote to myself, for me to read it after 6 months of having moved here. It’s been 11 months already, and although I did read it after six months, when I read it again today, it made me wonder why. Why did I ever stop creating?

I don’t create anything nowadays. Not a photo, not an illustration, I don’t even write anymore. Heck, I can’t even read a book! I’ve had a book in my nightstand for months and I’m not halfway through it yet.

I also came here hoping to make my art my career, and never stop trying as hard as it was. I gave up without even trying. Now I’m leaving for the Air Force, and I’m scared of losing myself entirely. I’m scared to live the life that I’ve always said I didn’t want for me. A life with no dreams, because they’re just too unreal. A life with no magic.

What I really need to do right now to feel like myself again is to simply create, and find my happiness in whatever I do. If any of you have struggled with the same thing, how do you deal with it?

I apologize for my lack of positivity right now, and it’s not that I’m not happy, I just feel like I’m slowly losing a huge part of me. I don’t want to find happiness with no creativity involved in my life. Again, I’m sorry, I wanted to express my feelings the way I used to, blogging.

“Please Don’t Bite”

Please Don't Bite

 I don’t even know how to put into words how much I’ve missed this. Creating. It’s been three months since I did a self portrait. A couple of weeks ago, I did the engagement session for my brother and her fiancé. But as much as I loved it, I needed to do one of mine.

A lot has happened these past few days. I’m officially part of the US Air Force. I want to write a post about how was MEPS and all the process but it’s too long. I’m lazy. But yes, I’m more than excited.

My parents came to visit my brother and I, it was just like old times. They’re already gone. Life without them is not easy.

So yesterday, I told my brother to go with me take this photo, because my heart couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to feel what I feel when I create. I feel my true essence. This one, may look simple, but it’s right for what’s happening currently in my life.

Please Don't Bite

I’m about to take a journey, which terrifies me, but as scary as it is, I’m not going to let fear stop me. All of this is completely new and weird for me. Sometimes I feel like I’m not going to belong, but I’m sure going to try it. I know the Air force has great things for me.

I’m so glad to be back on track. I miss you guys. Hope you like this little photo.

Everything Is Good

Guys, I feel like I owe you a thank you, or something like that. I just wanted to write this little post to let you know that after writing my last one, where not all things were great, everything started to fall into place.

I finally met my Air Force recruiter, and next week I’m going to take the ASVAB, and go to MEPS (which I’m definitely going to write about). Wish me luck, I’m so nervous.

And last week I started my new job. For the first time, I can say that I like my job. It’s honestly great.

Last weekend I did the engagement session for my brother and his fiancé, and although not everything turned out exactly how I wanted it, most of the photos are good. I missed spending hours in photoshop. I really want to shoot my own photos again, let’s see if I can do it soon.

Thanks again for your good vibes and wishes. They helped a lot. You always make me feel better. Talk to you soon!

Where Am I?

I failed myself once again. No. I’m not going to make this a negative post, I’m trying to stay away from negativity as much as I can. It hasn’t been easy this time though.

I could explain everything that has been going on in specific details, but I don’t think you would want to read about it, nor I would like to write about it. Instead, I’m just going to try and summarize it, which I’ve always been pretty bad at.

I’m unemployed. I couldn’t stand my job, so the reckless Minnie decided it was enough. Now, I have my brother complaining everyday about how he has to pay everything. I’ve been like this for almost two months. I’ve been looking and apparently no one wants me. I haven’t written or taken a photo for a long long time. And the most exciting one, I’ve decided to join the Air Force. This time is not a joke. I promise.

The option came to me in a moment where I would consider anything, but I actually made the decision after a lot of research. Now I’m in love with the idea. Again, I could tell you everything about it, but let’s leave that for another post.

I’m really trying to see the bright side here, but I’m getting so desperate for not having a job, and for not doing the one thing that makes me happy. I hope I can make a photo soon, but anyway next weekend I’m going to do the engagement session of my brother, and the theme is Snow White. Which makes me the happiest person alive, because with all this spare time I got obsessed with Once Upon A Time, I think it’s my favorite tv show now. I just can’t wait to create something inspired by it. It somehow made me believe again.

*sighs* You have no idea how much I missed writing about something, even if it was only rambling about my life. I feel like I have to start over again. New photos, new topics, new blog name…hmm, we’ll see.

I hope you’re all well, I’ve missed all of you.

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