People are not wrong when they say that the night is darker jut before the dawn. This past month has been a little rough for me, nothing dramatic, just emotional roller coasters. It hasn’t been that dark, but I can see little rays of the sun.
There are several things that have been making me feel sad. At first this year, I didn’t allow myself to feel that emotion because I wanted to be positive. But now I understand that it’s perfectly okay to feel it.
So many things, but a lot of them, I just can’t remember. But being one of them is the fact that no matter the support I get from my loyal readers, I don’t feel enough. I know that no matter what I do, I’m not going to be as good as everyone else. Sometimes I feel like the ugly ducking. It’s not that I’ve thrown my positivity out the window, because it’s okay to feel this. That doesn’t make it true, or that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop blogging. But the feeling is there, and I can’t ignore it. I just have to learn to focus more on the positive ones.
I also felt a little lost and doubtful. What if my photos are not good enough? What if I have to work at a fast food for the rest of my life? What if I’m scared all my life?
After I learned to control my emotions a tiny bit, some wonderful things happened that made me smile again.
I was updated to Premium on a fantastic photography web site Student Stock and was given a promo code on 500px.com. Then, on a Halloween contest on Student Stock, my “Dead” photo won the 2nd place( which was exciting for me because I’ve never won a contest before) and they gave me a 25$ Amazon Gift Card. Also, a while ago I got an email from a fellow blogger asking me if I could do a photo of two of her characters of her book. I’ve always dreamt of doing photos for books and albums, so this opportunity made me very happy. I’ve been reading the things she sent me and I can’t wait to do the photo. That being said, if any of you ever need a photo for something that you think I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask me. I love doing those sort of things. And the other day, I talked to an old special friend. Plus, I’ve been listening to 1989 and Pentatonix. Nothing that good music can’t fix.
I’ve been meaning to film another video but I haven’t been alone in my house 😦 But soon, hopefully. And thank you for your beautiful comments, no matter how less I feel here, the things you say to me always light me up.