I don’t know how many times I’ve said this already, probably enough for you to say “here she goes again” but I’m sorry, I’m just proud and happy.
This was me a year ago: Depressed. Dark. Negative. Scared. Unmotivated. Inside a black hole that I didn’t want to leave.
I’ve always been very shy, hence I lost a lot of opportunities in my life, missed a lot of great friendships, and a lot of fun adventures. I skipped most of the kind of things that almost every person goes through, the things that make you happy.
I remember being positive at one point of my life, but the more I grew up, the more negativity and sadness grew on me. I’m making this look like my life was tragic and dramatic. No, it wasn’t. But I wasn’t happy.
Last January, after leaving this blog unattended for months, I decided to blog again. And one of the first posts I did was called “Changing My Attitude“. That was my new year’s resolution. The one resolution I did. The one that changed my life.
Having a great attitude and being positive brought me the things that I can say are a huge part of my essence. I started doing the kind of photos that I was afraid of, met wonderful people, and finally an opportunity to make my dream come true knocked on my door.
I’ve got to admit, I wasn’t alone in all of this. Brooke Shaden’s (my favorite photographer) posts and videos always taught me a lesson. Lessons that made me a better person and made me see the magic of my self, and life. Let’s just say, she’s kind of my mentor of life.
Although being the whole year in my house doing what you may call “nothing”, was a little depressing, I never got depressed. Because doing a photo every single week helped me in more ways than I could have imagined. They made me feel that I made sense.
Then on April, I went to my brother’s house in the U.S hoping that I could stay, and my sister’s mother offered me to stay at her house. As challenging and scary as that sounded, I said yes. I had to wait till now to move, but I’m finally here. If you read my post of my first day here, you know that I was dying. Emotionally. It’s been the hardest thing, I’m more scared than anything, but I’m sure that if I didn’t have the attitude I have now, I wouldn’t have supported it. Or maybe I wouldn’t have moved in the first place.
Things are still going to be hard, but with positivity and a great attitude, they’re going to seem easier to bear. My new year’s resolution this year is to be more brave. Everything scares me, and I normally let the fear be stronger than me. But I want to change that, I want to be able to control my fear, put it aside, and do what I want to do anyway.
If you want your new year’s resolution to be the same things that you always fail, go ahead. If you really want to change, just challenge yourself to be a better person. Evaluate yourself, and pick one thing that you need to improve. It could be as simple as smiling more to strangers, or not complaining so much, or writing something that you’re thankful for everyday. ONE resolution can change your life more than TEN. And perhaps, it isn’t going to change your life, but it’s going to change the way you look at it.
I already told you mine, share yours if you want to. ❤