My Heart Is Broken

I’m going to pretend this white space is my friend for a moment.

I haven’t talked to you since last week, when my brother arrived. Having him here, without a doubt has been making me feel happier and more motivated.

I thought my three months at my job ended this week, but last Friday when I left work, I got the call that my assignment was completed. I literally cried. Who would have thought? After saying so many times how much I hated it at first. I mean, I still the hate the actual job, but those last days I was having kind of fun. And I was so used to the people already. They could’ve at least told me the day before so I could prepare myself mentally and say goodbye. The thing is, everyone, and I mean everyone, kept telling me that I was going to get hired in. My friend even told me that the person who deals with that said he was going to fight for me to stay. I was so hopeful that I was going back as a permanent employee. But, I still haven’t heard from them. Funny thing is that they’re not getting rid of me that easily. Sort of. My brother got a seasonal job there too. He started yesterday and he already has spoken with more people than I have in my entire life.-_____-. While his bravery and incredible social skills motivate and inspire me, I can’t help but feel jealous and sad.

Back home, I didn’t care that he was the friendly and social one. The one that everyone asked about. I really didn’t care. But here, it does hurt a little bit. This was my dream, I came here first, and trust me, the things I haven’t done in 4 months living here, he will in 2 weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I feel proud and happy for him, but it makes me feel sad about myself. I really wish I had some of his courage.

Now, I have to look for a job, which is making me anxious. I don’t want to have to get used to a new place again. But I have to do it, because as much as I’m enjoying watching every single episode of Sabrina: The Teenage Witch all day long, this is depressing me. *sighs* I wish they call me and ask me to go back, it would make everything so much easier. I’m stressed people, I am. I don’t like this. Hopefully my next post will have great news.

Advertisements

Your Opinion Here ⇣

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s