I miss me

Dear friends,

I won’t apologize again to you for my lack of posts, and for disappearing again, because let’s be honest, I can’t start every post the same way.

It hurts to say this, but I’ve failed myself. I completely lost what I wanted to keep the most. A few minutes ago I was reading some of my old posts, and I found a little paragraph that I wrote to myself, for me to read it after 6 months of having moved here. It’s been 11 months already, and although I did read it after six months, when I read it again today, it made me wonder why. Why did I ever stop creating?

I don’t create anything nowadays. Not a photo, not an illustration, I don’t even write anymore. Heck, I can’t even read a book! I’ve had a book in my nightstand for months and I’m not halfway through it yet.

I also came here hoping to make my art my career, and never stop trying as hard as it was. I gave up without even trying. Now I’m leaving for the Air Force, and I’m scared of losing myself entirely. I’m scared to live the life that I’ve always said I didn’t want for me. A life with no dreams, because they’re just too unreal. A life with no magic.

What I really need to do right now to feel like myself again is to simply create, and find my happiness in whatever I do. If any of you have struggled with the same thing, how do you deal with it?

I apologize for my lack of positivity right now, and it’s not that I’m not happy, I just feel like I’m slowly losing a huge part of me. I don’t want to find happiness with no creativity involved in my life. Again, I’m sorry, I wanted to express my feelings the way I used to, blogging.

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12 thoughts on “I miss me

  1. Oh sweetie, I have been there! I know how this feels. I think the best thing to do at the moment is do nothing. Start afresh in the new year. Be kind to yourself as your world is changing. Go for walks and do things which bring you joy. Remember, this time of stagnation came to pass, not to stay. xx

  2. Hi Minnie! It’s wonderful to ‘see’ you again. I’ve been writing music for a long time and discovered that life does get in the way. There will be ebbs in your creativity because of life, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone. The life experience that you’ll acquire in your time in the Air Force – and beyond – will become part of the quilt of your future compositions. You’ll never stop being an artist. I hope that you are well and know that you have been missed!
    Rob

    1. Sorry for the late response Rob, your comments always make me feel better, and I thank you for that. You’re so right, it’s sad when life gets in the way, I guess that was always one of my biggest fears, but I’ll find a way of still creating and doing what I love. I just have to accept that it won’t be the same as when I didn’t have any responsabilities.

  3. Hang in there. We all go through peaks and valleys. What matters is finding the issues we have and fixing them. We can’t be creative all the time…you’re just building a reserve for when it unleashes again.

  4. Hey sweety! I’ve missed you and I get really sad when I read your post! I’m so sorry that you have lost motivation, I know how that feel and it’s not a nice place! I have one thing to say: It will get better! Don’t give up just yet, yes life is harsh and unfair but this is just a test to see how you can handle the situation, what ever you do… don’t give up and keep on trying! I wish that I could give you a hug! I really do wish that you will be happy very soon so that you want to create again! All the best and you know where to find me if you need a friend! We are here for you ❤

    1. I’m a month late, but I’ve missed you too, and that comes from the most honest part of my heart. I’ve never really had girl friends so when I talk to you through comments I feel like I have one. Thank you so much for your comment, I do believe that it will get better, and that somehow I’ll find time and motivation again to do those things that make me happy. Talk to you soon, I hope you’re doing well btw.

      1. Oh no need to say sorry! Aw you’re just too sweet and I REALLY hope that life is treating you well! I wish you will find your happiness and that all your dreams will come true! I do mean it! You always have a friend! I’m doing well too, thanks for asking! I want to wish you a Happy New Year! Talk to you soon ❤

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